Summer – Will it become too heated?

Finally, some sunshine and high temperatures after the distinctly too cool Spring and soon enough schools will break up, children will be off for the summer….

The pressure that many can feel to have the “perfect Summer”, to spend time with family, arrange and host BBQs and other events and ensure that the children have plenty of days out and fun activities can lead to tremendous stress and fractured relationships.

It has long been acknowledged that there is a noticeable link between holiday periods and the number of enquiries that Solicitors receive about Divorce following those and whilst many consider that a bad joke I can assure you that for the clients that I see it is anything but.

Now I am not suggesting that one less than perfect Summer leads to Divorce, families and relationships are far more complex than that, but it can be a significant stressor on a relationship that perhaps is already in difficulty or on couples who are not seeing eye to eye.

There are some things that you can consider to make the whole period less stressful. Try the following:

1.      Plan in advance and acknowledge what you can and can’t do – limit the number of BBQs or events you are going to host over the holidays and “book” them in early, speak with other parents at School or with family members about their plans early so you don’t feel pressured to accept any last minute invites.

2.      Make a note of local activities for children or for you and your partner that will keep you all interested. If you have different interests, acknowledge those and plan activities accordingly.

3.      Arrange for the children to spend time at their friends’ homes – I’m sure their parents will gratefully accept if the reverse is also offered and it will allow you some time alone or together as a couple to discuss any issues without the children around.

4.      Pencil in some relaxation or free time so that you can do as you please – talk to your partner, accept that last minute invite if you want to, spend time as a family at home.

5.      If you are really struggling to speak with your partner without arguing then don’t. Take time to walk away and compose yourself and raise any issues when you are both calmer and away from any family members or children.

6.      Perspective – it’s Summer, yes we don’t have great weather all the time and you want to make the most of it but the memories that I have of Summer, both in my childhood and adulthood, are not of what the weather was doing or even what I was doing but who I was with and the atmosphere that there was – make that your focus.