Summer Holidays – will it be a breeze or cause a storm?

Well, the weather certainly looks like it’s here and soon enough the schools will break up and children will be off for the summer.

The great British tradition of summer holidays is a happy and carefree time for many (leaving aside the eternal issues of childcare and annual leave) but it can be a time of great upset, anger and hostility for separated parents with children.

For those who could not agree when they separated on the arrangements for the children, they are likely to have a Court Order that provides for the children to spend time with each of them and, whilst no 2 Orders are the same, frequently they provide for extended or additional time over school holiday periods.

If possible, the Court will try not to be too prescriptive in the wording of the orders, after all best laid plans etc. but this means that instead the arrangements as regards dates and times are left to the parents to sort out year on year.

I can say from experience of these kinds of cases that this sometimes doesn’t work well, one party being too rigid on dates and times, dates being provided too late by one with the result that the other has already booked flights etc. etc.

The key thing to remember, and often now I insert a provision in the Order for this, is to discuss holidays at the very outset of the year and, where possible, agree the specifics early on. I know no-body likes talking about October ½ term in January but the reality is that if parents can agree dates in advance (or even some structure that rolls from year to year or alternates from year to year) it allows them also to plan in advance - to book their annual leave, budget for holidays, book flights cheaper and so on.

It amazes me still that parents who have suffered the trauma of Court proceedings to deal with arrangements for their children and have secured an Order for their trouble put off discussing holiday arrangements with the other until the last minute.

Frequently, what this achieves is further dispute, hostility and if they’re really unlucky, a return to Court to resolve the matter. A bit of forward thinking could avoid all of that.

Quite apart from advance planning, compromise and some flexibility is also essential. The fact is that commonly now parents both work – they may each have commitments to employers and other draws on their time – with some communication, it can actually be easier for both parents to manage the holiday time. Of course, the further ahead of time discussions take place the more potential for flexibility – although that does have to start as a state of mind.

With summer rapidly approaching then, my thoughts turn to those parents who are separated, with or without Court Orders, newly separated or long since divorced and I hope that arrangements for the children to spend time with each of them over the holiday period have been made already.

If that isn’t the case then discussions need to start happening now.

Avoid the disputes and bad feeling – remember, for the most part children really just want to spend time with each of their parents and enjoy that time.