Irreconcilable Differences?

Several clients of mine have recently spoken to me about divorcing on the basis of “irreconcilable differences” and even one of my colleagues mentioned the concept (his area is not family law).

I was forced to explain to all that the only ground for divorce in England and Wales is the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. I also explained that this ground must be supported by one of several “facts” – behaviour, adultery, 2 years separation with the other’s consent, desertion or 5 years separation.

Whilst going through the explanations and answering the questions that ensued, it stuck me that their misconception about the divorce process and the ground for divorce in this country had almost certainly come from watching US dramas/reading articles about celebrity divorces in the papers – almost all of which mention one party “citing irreconcilable differences”. Fine if you are divorcing in the US.

Of course no-one should or would have reason to know the ins and outs of the divorce process in this country unless they were practising family law or had been through the process before but it did make me wonder where people seek out information when they are faced with separation or divorce – especially given that these clients were adamant that the information was correct and that their planned course of action was the right one.

At such an important and emotionally charged time in their lives, are clients prepared to avoid UK solicitors at all costs and instead rely on pieces of information picked up from friends, TV, the media etc.

I can only say what I said when faced with those clients and my colleague – you wouldn’t have a look around online to obtain bits of information and then have a go at extracting a tooth, plumbing in a bathroom or fixing a car – at the very least you would obtain some expert advice.

It is perhaps our fault as a profession that we have not appeared approachable enough, have not educated sufficiently and have not done enough to change the perception that people have about the costs involved.

That is surely now coming to an end with the entrance of ABS and certainly costs and accessibility are becoming a point of difference between firms.

Fixed fee options, free initial consultations, DIY divorce packs, factsheets etc. are all services we have developed to educate people and enable them to regain control of costs and action at a time when most feel that they are spiralling out of control.

I believe that many in the profession are doing what they can to make access to information and advice easier and less intimidating for clients but, for things to get better, there must be some change of culture… some general consensus that it is better to obtain expert advice before taking action and that Solicitors are not all smoke and mirrors and actually have some expert knowledge and value to give.

Without that change, I fear that people will continue to shy away from seeing a Solicitor and take action on the basis of the piecemeal (often incorrect) information that they pick up or are given by well-meaning friends – lessons might be learnt when things go wrong and legal advice and action is needed to right it but that is far too late and can be more costly in the long run.

So…. don’t struggle alone or worry about what you are or are not doing….contact Solicitors’ firms and I am prepared to bet that the majority will offer free initial consultations or a fixed fee initial appointment….get the correct legal advice before taking action and ask solicitors whether they do fixed fee services….some already do and in the long run I suspect that this will become more common.